I recently got an interesting email from one of my subscribers.
In it, she explains that she’s unmarried, has a small stature, and looks very young for her age.
As a result, she feels that she doesn’t get the respect that she deserves.
My heart went out to her immediately I saw this email because BOY, DO I RELATE!
This is my personal experience and how i’ve dealt with this issue. Enjoy! xo
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Let me give you an example of the type of thing that used to make me feel very insecure about my appearance.
When I was getting ready to be married, I stopped by a friend’s church for marriage counseling.
I didn’t feel like dressing up that day so my hair was pulled back into a pony tail and I was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans – no makeup.
As I was roaming around, trying to figure out where i was going, this nice little lady actually came up to me and asked
Hi, are you looking for the teenagers class? *BIG SMILE*
When these types of things happen often enough, it can do a number on a person’s confidence.
how I learned to be confident in my appearance no matter what
#1. Dealing with the feelings.
I recognized that I was uncomfortable with certain aspects of my appearance and allowed myself to feel all my feelings.
I didn’t minimize them.
I didn’t tell myself to get over it.
I just accepted my feelings and that acceptance was strangely healing for me.
#2. Getting a Fake wedding ring
Yes, I did.
Before I got married, I would wear this ring to all business meetings, speaking engagements, and networking events.
This did 2 things for me:
- It kept the creeps at bay (you know the ones i’m talking about).
- It made me feel confident that nobody was walking around thinking that I was a teenager
I also tried wearing “serious” glasses for a while but it felt very unnatural so I quit that mess.
Wearing heels to professional environments also worked (and still works) well for me.
In business, taller is better – trust me.
You would never catch me at a business meeting wearing flats.
#3. Correcting my mindset
One day, I came to this realization:
I cannot control how people feel about me but I can always control how I feel about myself.
Once I learn to feel good about myself, it will radiate to others and becomes contagious.
The practical application of this idea is very simple.
Before I walk out of the house every morning, I ask myself
hey Kola, are you impressed with how you look?
If yes, i’m on my way and feeling fabulous.
If no, I ask myself what’s missing. A bracelet? A necklace? My hair? Whatever it is, I fix it, smile at the mirror and I enjoy my day.
You don’t have to walk around feeling less than your best because guess what? Each day comes around only once. Might as well throw your head back, feel good, and enjoy it!