The way I joined Facebook was kind of funny.
My brother had just come back from America and he was telling me about this new thing that everybody was signing up for on the Internet.
It’s so weird to think about that conversation now.
It feels like being around when the computer was invented. I’m going to be that old fart saying “I remember back in the day when there was no Social Media”. Uck.
Anyway, when my brother first told me about Facebook, I was too intrigued.
It just sounded so cool!
Fast-forward to 2014 and things are a lot different now.
The thought of Facebook makes me roll my eyes. I no longer have a personal account.
And I’m here writing this post.
The story behind how it all went down is one of those deep and melodramatic life episodes that I’m not really fond of.
I deactivated my Facebook account sometime in November 2013 when a friend of mine passed away.
I hadn’t intended to say anything on social media about her passing; however, it coincided with the launch week for How to Make a Blog that Makes a Difference.
Many people had been waiting for that course to launch.
The least I could do was to explain why I had to reschedule things.
This was my only intention in saying anything online.
But, it was impossible to ignore what actually happened when I posted the video where I talked about her passing.
Thanks to Facebook, I could see that my friends and family members watched the video.
Many of them shared the video. Some people even left comments.
But, somehow, not one person picked up the phone to call.
Don’t worry, this isn’t me pointing fingers or saying “oh poor me“.
My friends and family weren’t being awful people.
They were just doing what I had trained them to do.
Facebook was where I shared happy news, exciting things, and major milestones in my life.
Facebook was where we “connected”.
And this is a perfect example of why people treat you the way that they do
A very wise man once said that you are the one that trains people how to treat you.
So if somebody is treating you in a way that you don’t like, it’s up to you to find out what you are contributing to the dynamic.
The simple fact of the matter is, nobody thought to call because I had never set that standard with my friends and family.
I was the one that made it okay for happy birthdays to be limited to a “HBD” on my wall. I was the one that made it okay for people to rely on Facebook as their primary way of knowing if I was dead or alive.
Therefore, I was the one that had to fix it.
I did so by deleting my personal Facebook and raising my standards.
My closest friends and family have my number and I have theirs.
We text, whatsapp, talk. It’s great.
I don’t rely on the internet to give me information about them.
This is how I want to treat people I care about and this is how I want them to treat me.
I’ve my set my standards and people respect them.
Have you set yours?