This is a true story.
When I was younger, my brother and I shared a room. Some of my favorite memories happened in that room. We would jist and crack jokes until I fell asleep mid-sentence. We would spy on people that had bathrooms separate from their main houses. And best of all, I got to wake up to the sound of the neighbors’ cock every day.
Cock means male chicken.
I loved that room…at least until I turned seven.
One night, my brother and I went to bed as usual. It was just him, myself, and a couple million mosquitos. All of a sudden, we heard strange voices in the hallway. My brother instinctively locked the door and asked me to come to him for safety. He lay on his side so that I was completely hidden from sight. Just as he covered the two of us with his unwashed bed sheet, the men in the hallway busted our door open.
It’s the only time in my life that I’ve been thankful for not having electricity. It was pitch dark. They couldn’t see us. As long as we played dead, we would live. How ironic is that?
I lay there, seven years old and face to face with death. It’s a feeling that words cannot describe.
I’m sharing this story for a specific reason. I think you can save a life. An amazing young woman just ended her own life. In the process of trying to make sense of it all, I made a startling discovery (hence the title of this post). It turns out that most people do a Google search before committing suicide. It also turns out that a lot of people smile to cover up the sadness they feel inside. In a sense, both of these circumstances are like facing death. They are difficult to describe.
Can You Relate? I hope not…but just in case
I wish I could promise that your life will get better. That you have a big bright future ahead but I can’t. I wish I could offer professional advice on the topic but I can’t. All I can do is offer a layman’s thoughts in hopes that it means something to you:
If those men had pulled the trigger, I may never have experienced some of the best days of my life. If you give up now, you may never experience the best days of your life.
People will think whatever they want, whenever they want, and however often they want. Managing other peoples’ opinions is an unpaid job. Don’t accept it. When people are driving you off the edge, remember that.
We get busy. We forget to tell people how much they mean to us. No matter how much life sucks right now, there’s at least one person that cares. They may be too busy to say it but they do. You are loved….dearly.
Inadequacy is not a disease. It’s part of being human. When you feel inadequate, you’re simply feeling human.
Find an aspect of your life that you can easily control. Your nails, your hair, the music you listen to. Pay special attention to this area and manage it well. This is a simple and painless way to finally taste peace.
During wars, the battle is always toughest where the most promising people are. These people suffer the toughest blows, fiercest opposition, and longest struggles. When you are suffering more than anyone you know, consider the possibility that you hold more promise than anyone you know.
If you are at the crossroads of life and death, my hope is that you’ll read this post a second time…and choose life.
People that speak pidgin usually say “AIDS no dey show for face”. That is, you can’t detect AIDS via visual inspection. In the same way, “suicide no dey show for face”. Don’t assume all your smiling friends are okay. Make a commitment to encourage and be encouraged. You could save a life.
If your heart is so inclined, please share this post anywhere and everywhere. I don’t know who needs to read this, but my mind won’t let me sleep until I put it up. Odaaro!
Need more help? In the U.S., call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255