❼ An Experiment in Becoming More Patient, Kind, Not Jealous, etc.

I used to be the type of person that couldn’t take “no” for an answer from customer service.

If I called to ask for something, I got what I wanted. Period.

While this might sound like an admirable thing – perhaps even something you should try to copy, I do not recommend this way of living.

A lot of times, in the process of “demanding my rights”, I forgot that the person I was talking to was a person too.

…And that they had feelings

…And that sometimes shift just happens and it’s not the customer service person’s fault.

For the longest time, I thought I just had a problem with customer service people.

But, eventually, I realized that my problem wasn’t with customer service people.

It was much deeper than that.

make a difference become more loving

My problem was that I didn’t see people at all.

All I saw was my goal and the path to get there.

Some of you immediately understand what I mean when I say that.

If so, you’re probably a Type A personality like me.

You want what you want and your way is right.

You want what you want and it doesn’t matter how long, hard, or relentlessly you must go hard to get it.

You want what you want and the people that are involved in the process of getting it are secondary.

It’s not like people don’t matter – it’s just that they don’t matter as much as getting what you want.

I don’t know about you but, again, this is no way to live.

When I ask older family members about my ancestors, they always describe them with simple phrases like:

  • He really loved coffee (my great grandfather)
  • She was really kind and loving (my great grandmother)
  • He traveled a lot. He even lived in Ghana for a while (my grandfather)

While I’m not too worried about how people remember me when I’m gone, these phrases tell me something about life.

They tell me that it’s the simple, mundane, day to day things we do that have the biggest impact on the people around us.

They also tell me that everything we do in this life exists only temporarily. The accomplishment happens, we feel good, people praise us and then it ends. It’s forgotten. It’s unremarkable history.

That second realization really bothers me. A lot.

Like a lot a lot.

I don’t like the idea of working so hard – knowing full well that the significance of every accomplishment is only temporary… fleeting… time-bound.

But there is a silver lining.

These realizations have caused a significant shift in my attitude.

No, I am still very much a driven, ride or die, “I’ll work till I drop” type of person.

But I’m that person with a much stronger sense of responsibility to do all things with a spirit of love.

This is a very different ball game from doing things with 1 goal and 1 goal in mind only – which is to get what I want.

I understand ambition very well – but love is a bit of a mystery to me.

So, to help me along my way, I’ve enlisted the help of a book called Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges.

My plan is to do the first 30 love challenges.

1 a day for 30 days.

My hope is to come out of this, a slightly more loving person.

You know, more patient, a little kinder, not jealous or boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not keeping record of wrongs, etc.

I’d love for you to join me if you feel so inclined.

Here are the rules of the challenge:

  1. Pick how long you want to do this challenge
    • I’ve picked 30 days…you can do 7 days or 14 days…totally up to you
  2. Make a list of love challenges to complete
  3. Do your challenges one a day, every day, back to back
    • Do not take breaks – this is one of the most important secrets to creating meaningful change in any area of life
  4. Report back with your results by leaving a comment on this post, or sharing on Instagram using the hashtag #BetaMotivation

That’s all folks. Cheers to becoming better human beings.

2 thoughts on “❼ An Experiment in Becoming More Patient, Kind, Not Jealous, etc.

  1. I love this idea. We have worked very hard to step outside of our own comfort zone. We stop for people on the side of the road (my rule is they have to be on OUR side or they “belong” to someone else). We ask walkers if they need a ride. We randomly pick someone at our favorite local restaurants and pay for their meal. Picking someone up ALONE the first time was scary but…I lived. It was so, so cold out, one of those HORRIBLY cold days last winter. Poor guy was walking to his job, snot streaming down his face. He shouldn’t have had to be out in it but he had no other way to get there. I’ve written about our experiences on Little Indiana, under “Creating Community.”

    1. Wow this is SO encouraging to hear. You are a true inspiration – actually walking the talk. Thank you so much for sharing your experience – it’s really really inspiring to me

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